Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Yesterday at church our pastor taught about testing. I really don’t like that concept or want to think about it. Yet it seems that the Bible is pretty clear that God tests us. So I can’t keep running away from that fact. The other reason is that I began to get the sense as I was listening that perhaps I had been tested in November and December – and failed. So why would a loving, all knowing God test us? I mean God knows my heart. He knit me in my inner most being. God knew I would fail so why would He test me? Then the answer came to me. Next time maybe I won’t fail. Or maybe it will be the next time after that. Eventually I will be strong enough to withstand the trial. I took a course on how to study before I started university. One of the things I learned from the course was that the best way to study was to test yourself. The method I used was to make a list of questions. By doing that, I was rarely surprised by any question on the test. I actually learned way more c...

I was watching my pastor’s teaching online today because I had missed the service on Sunday and I thought I should catch up. I have to admit that I often find ‘vision’ services annoying and something I put up with because I am a part of a church body. I knew that the teaching had something to do with vision because I had seen the first little bit a couple of days ago. I watched the rest and it intrigued me. What I heard was that he characterized his vision for Soul Sanctuary as being real. I had to stop. Most people would probably say that I had that down pat… I mean I post honest and authentic articles to my blog. I am approachable and easy to talk to. I don’t pretend to be okay when I’m not. Still I sense a challenge in that. To be honest about being honest… I am selective about what I share. Sometimes that is because it is not wise to post some details to the internet. However, more often that not it is because I don’t want to talk about something or admit something. T...

So as I mentioned in my last post I have started to read the Bible every day. My routine is to read first thing when I get up. Before I went back to work I had a nice routine of getting up, making tea, then sitting down to read the Bible. Of course I was pretty well rested by that time too. Now I am getting up really early so I can be into work early. AND I am making sure the read the Bible. The thing is that I find the quality of this time is much diminished from when I was reading when I had the luxury of not reading at 6am. Now I read much in a fog and I was starting to doubt if there was a point. Yet this morning God shone through again. I was reading the story of Moses when I came to this verse: “The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still.” Exodus 14:14, NIV I have been moving forward by changing residences and by waiting for God’s direction in ministry. That has been very difficult and I went through a tough time. Last night I met with a friend who offered me an opportun...

Psalm 103:1-22 (NLT) A psalm of David. Praise the Lord, I tell myself; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. [2] Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me. [3] He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. [4] He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies. So it’s been a long time since I last posted. I even had a really hard time writing my Christmas letter. I got it in just under the wire. My Christmas cards went out late so a bunch of people probably got them after Christmas. I was trying, then I stopped trying, then I started trying again. Throughout this time God has sent people to rescue me. Particularly one day, right at one of my darkest moments, someone showed up at my door. They didn’t go away when I didn’t answer. They pulled me up. That day I purchased a new Bible and I came across this Psalm. I have been re...

My Christmas letter is posted (better late than never.) http://mistychristmasletter.blogspot.com/

Lately things have been rough. I don’t know how to explain how I got here. I know moving took a lot out of me even though it was a great thing to do. Work has been going well but has been very busy. I left a lot of space in my life to give me time to move and haven’t really filled that with anything else yet. Sometimes it feels like there isn’t much meaning to life. I spent some time remembering my Mom and missing her. None of these things should bring me down on their own but perhaps the combination of them… I can’t really explain. I made some bad choices to deal with the pain. Somehow I decided that if I made that choice I was making the choice to turn away from church and God. I had used up my chances. I knew that wasn’t biblical. I knew I was wrong but somehow I was unable to get past that. On Friday there was a bit of a storm during the day and the drive home took a lot longer than normal. I was on the bus so I had a lot of extra time to think. I had realized that I...

Last night I was lying in bed thinking about what to ‘do’ with all of this sadness I feel. God brought some people to mind I work with who have also lost loved ones. All of their losses are more recent than mine. Then I thought about how when I was honest about how I felt many people reached out to me. God carried me and protected me. I thought about the people around me who may not have the same level of support I have or don’t have anyone to talk to about their grief. As hard as the last week has been, it would have been much harder had my friends not been supporting me. I have felt your prayers and been truly grateful for them. Tonight I feel tired, in a good way. I don’t feel spent or lifeless. I just feel like it would be good to sleep.