Sunday, September 27, 2009

Purity


This morning I was scheduled to give a short testimony to support The Ministry of Listening. I received an email from our pastor the other day that I was on page 3 of his teaching. I was curious because I thought that my testimony had something to do with his topic. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the Weekly (our version of a church bulletin) and saw that the topic was purity!


One of the things I am trying to shed about my identity is that I feel like I am the queen of inconsistency. One day I will be on fire for Jesus. It seems like a few days later I will appear to have forgotten Jesus exists. One of the things I learned this summer is that I need to let go of that belief.


When I went up during the first gathering this morning I actually asked the pastor, “how did I end up in the teaching on living in purity.” He laughed and basically said he didn’t know. But as the teaching went on he came back to my question (thank goodness or I would feel a little low.) As I listened to the teaching a second time I began to realize how much of my story is about becoming pure.


As I write this blog I do so with a bit of a cringe because I know purity isn’t a popular concept in our culture. But the truth is that when I confessed my sin and was cleansed this summer everything changed for me. I am living in purity. I can’t claim to be without sin. No one can. What I am referring to is not living in a state of intentional disobedience.


One thing I took away from this morning is that living in purity is not about running away from sin. It is about running toward God. Over the past several weeks I have seen the fruit of that in my life. Thank you Jesus.

Friday, September 25, 2009

God’s got me…

I went out for lunch with my friend today.  I was talking about the many happenings in my life.  There are challenges as always but I said, God’s got me.  She remarked that she didn’t remember hearing me saying that before.  She’s probably right.

If I had to characterize the change in myself over the past several weeks I would say that it has been my constant awareness of that fact.  What I have noticed is that it is giving me courage to move forward with a lot of things.  I find that I have a greater creativity and ability to solve problems at work.  I have started to work out this week.  I signed up to write an entire novel in the month of November (note that blog posts will probably go down.)  Knowing that God has you, makes life pretty exciting and gives you seemingly limitless possibilities.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Pursuit of Happiness


This week I have been posting a simple status on Facebook. Misty is happy. It’s amazing the kind of response you get when you post you are happy. Many people click ‘like’, others comment. I think that is the status I have seen the most response on.


A friend of mine acknowledged my courage for actually posting that I was happy. To declare that one is happy seems to invite disaster. I posted last year about just that. But this year it doesn’t seem to be as courageous….


I think that it is because this time I have learned something. It is okay to fight for happiness. You see I pursuing happiness by going after material things or avoiding things that are hard. It is just the opposite. I am paying attention to this mended heart of mine. When it is hurting I am reaching out. I am praying for guidance. I am leaning on my friends.


You see last week was a challenge for me. I felt this sense of lingering sadness. Instead of hiding I reached out. I prayed. I talked to people I trusted. I asked others to pray for me. At the end of the week I was blessed by someone who released me from a burden I was carrying. So this week, I am happy. And I am going to fight to be happy…

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Mended Hearts


I learned this weekend that a healed heart is a tender one. I have found that being more fully alive means that I notice things. I notice those little hurts that used to sneak there way into my heart without my knowing. I notice when I am reacting to something someone says that triggers me and reminds me of my past. Instead of numbing my feelings in various ways, my heart serves of an early warning system. It is hard to ignore.


It is a paradox that in my vulnerability I feel stronger for the most part. I know that this is probably because my tender heart knows it needs God and goes there sooner. I have to admit this past weekend was a difficult one. But I know Jesus was walking with me.