Saturday, October 16, 2010


 support In the past few days I have found myself reaching out a little more.  I have been honest about where I am at.  I am not sure what I expected but I am grateful that I didn’t get it.  What I got from my friends was an overwhelming sense of grace.

I remember when I first started exercising and caring about my health I was hesitant to share with anyone.  I knew there would times like t his when I struggled to stay on track.  I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.  Yet as I started to post on Facebook what I was doing I had a bunch of cheerleaders instantly.  I loved the support I got.  So I guess when I was honest about what was happening I expected the same type of support.  I expected people to cheer me on.

That wasn’t what I needed.  I need people to stand with me and that is what they have done.  They have modeled God’s love to me.  I am overwhelmingly grateful for it.  I decided that what I really need is to get back to the basics of remembering how much God cares for me and how He sees me.  I am slowly becoming more active and eating better but that is coming out of an overflow.  I refuse to kick my ass because that isn’t what I need.  I need to remember.  The rest will come.

Monday, October 11, 2010


At the beginning of the year I resolved that when I fell I would get up again.  So far so good.  Yet as I reflect on where I am at right now, I wonder what to do when you recognize that you are about to fall.  Or maybe you have fallen and you just don’t recognize your fallen state…

I haven’t been exercising lately.  I have noticed that when I don’t exercise I tend to eat poorly.  I find myself being more and more tired lately.  I was waiting for this weekend to come so I could sit and veg a little or a lot to be honest.

So maybe I have fallen already.  I know that I need to get up or this hole will get even deeper.  I could use your prayer.