Tuesday, January 26, 2010


I used to be really annoyed with people who would tell me to stand on God’s promise.  And if someone said that to me directly I would probably still be annoyed.  However I find myself in a place where that is what I am doing.  I am trusting that God wants to and will bring me to new levels of physical health and emotional healing.  I know I am trusting because I am living my life as if I know He will.

Six months ago I entered a conference that changed my life.  Really I entered a room with God where he transformed me.  I shared my heart with Him and he showed me how he saw me….  as a beautiful woman who somehow mustered up the courage to dance before Him at the last night of the conference.

Every once in a while I would hear a voice that would tell me this wouldn’t last.  Upon reflection the past few weeks I realized that I have had the longest sustained period of happiness that I have ever had.  I can’t say every moment was perfect or that even every month was great.  I can say that overall I look back and see that I have had a relatively positive six months.  I am excited about what God is doing in my life.

Sometimes I still hear that voice that says this won’t last.  But then I realize that I have learned to get back up when I fall.  Today I am understanding that this is because I refuse to give up my belief that God has good things in store for me.  So yes there is some difficulty ahead at some point.  But the belief is what will help me stand up.  Standing on God’s promise is not a matter of somehow tricking myself.  It is seeing the Truth in every circumstance.

Friday, January 01, 2010

I Will Rise

I can’t believe it is 2010 already. Many people take this time to reflect on their lives and decide what to change. I think that is a natural and good thing. I spent many years not making resolutions. This year I decided to take a new slant on them.

Rather than try and start anything new I have decided what I would like to keep doing or expand on. This seems much less discouraging and overwhelming. I can’t help but honor all that his happened for me this year. I also can’t help but honor what has happened for me in the last ten years. To throw it out and start doing something entirely new would seem like I wasn't doing enough.

I have to admit that sometimes when I reflect on the good place I am in, I feel a sense of panic. I don’t want to let it go. Yet it is not realistic to expect that I won’t experience hardship in 2010. So instead I will make a declaration:

I will rise.