Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Today is Thanksgiving and this weekend we focus on the things we are grateful for. Many families will or already have had a dinner with turkey and all of the fixings. At a lot of those tables there will be a tradition of going around and asking people what they are thankful for. I always have a struggle with that tradition. I have trouble boiling down what I am grateful to just one or two sentences. Often I have to tell stories to explain why I am thankful. Who really wants to sit and listen to me talk for 5 minutes about why I am thankful when there is turkey on the table? Yesterday I started out feeling weary and tired. I was blessed by a gathering at church that was fun but also a teaching that met me exactly where I was at. I entered the gathering feeling alone and left feeling abundantly blessed. To say that I am grateful for friends would not begin to express the things in my life that I am grateful for. Seven years ago I walked through the world feeling disconnected. ...

Today my pastor spoke on the topic of hell. The last time he talked about that I found myself really upset. In fact I sent an email to him expressing my struggle with the topic of heaven (and hell.) I was upset because I needed to reconcile with the existence of heaven. My mom loved me a lot. She was strong and courageous. She raised me on her own on a waitress’ salary. I didn’t have everything I wanted but I always had food to eat and clothes on my back. We were very close. We argued a lot because we were very different. My mom had been through a lot of things I just didn’t understand as a teenager and young adult. I can hardly blame her for being bitter. She didn’t know how else to survive. My mom got cancer when I was 17. She had surgery and although it was scary at the time that seemed to be the end of it. We moved on and then around the time I turned 22 she told me that she had found a lump in her other breast. She died 11 months later. Those were the bleakest most horrible times...