Unforced Rhythms of Grace

My mother passed away on November 20th, 1995. I remember November 20th, 1996 quite clearly. I was still in school. The loss of my mother was still quite acute in my mind. In some ways my mother’s death defined me at school. It is unusual for a young woman of 22 to lose their mother. My peers were ill equipped to walk with me through my pain. I don’t think I knew anyone else who had experienced the death of someone so close. I did have some very good friends who knew the day was coming. One friend in particular wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone. We went to Applebee’s for dinner. It was kind of surreal. It turned out that thinking about the date was much worse than the actual day. Still I was glad that my friend and I had planned dinner. The anticipation of spending that evening alone would have been too much to bear. After I left school things changed. Many of the people who were in my life at the time were no longer part of my inner circle. For those who are still in my...

Seven years ago today I asked Jesus to come into my life. I was reading a booklet called “Why Jesus?” and within it there was a prayer where you could invite Jesus into your life. Being familiar with the Christian faith I knew the prayer was coming so I stopped a few pages before it in the book. I knew I was going to pray the prayer. Being ever pragmatic I decided that since I didn’t know what would happen once I said the prayer I would run a few errands first. After I came home I said the prayer. I remember stopping for a moment and waiting. Nothing happened… or so I thought. I remember about a year later I felt like part of me had woken up and found out that the other part of me had become a Christian. I was confused and somewhat angry. I had heard that God was present in all the things I had experienced but what difference did that make? How could God allow me to go through everything I had as a child and still blame me for my sin? It didn’t seem fair and I acted out my a...