Sunday, November 12, 2006


The other day I was on the bus on my way home. I saw a man on the bus. He had an oxygen tube in his nose. There were no seats available so someone stood up and offered him a seat. He refused the seat. I looked at him and was thinking, “Are you kidding me? You are on oxygen! You need the seat. Take the seat.” Then another voice inside me said, “Yeah, you are kind of like that.” I am pretty sure that was the voice of God.

I have a lot of trouble asking for help. I have even more trouble accepting help. This week I was offered some assistance and I am struggling to be humble enough to accept it. You see, part of the reason I am in the position I am in is my own fault. I would have no trouble telling someone else that even when we have ‘made our own beds’ we don’t need to lie in them alone. God doesn’t want us to lie in them alone. Yet I somehow seem to think the rules are different for me.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Buried Treasure

Yesterday I received the kind of letter in the mail that everyone dreams about. Apparently some long-lost distant relative of mine died in the 2004 Tsunami along with his entire family. That’s very sad but I didn’t know him and it was really overshadowed by the next part of the story. My relative left $ 7.8 Million dollars in a box -- which seems very plausible because my relative was an expatriate engineer for a mining company and all engineers have $7.8 Million available to them to put in a box. All I have to do is contact this lawyer at his Yahoo account (because every legitimate lawyer only uses a Yahoo account) and he will generously give me half if I bring myself forward as a relative.

Of course I am being sarcastic and I know that this is a scam. I am so sick of stuff like this. A couple of months ago I had two different males approach me on MySpace to tell me I was ‘captivating’ and not to hurt them. One of them was still married but his wife died in a plane crash. Another one was in Nigeria right now for his uncle’s burial and was from ‘Canada.’

Things like this rob us of our dreams. I know that I am afraid to dream anymore. I am afraid to believe that good things like this can happen. There are no fairy tales anymore. I look at everything through a cynical lens. I wonder if I would see a legitimate miracle if I ever came across one.