Unforced Rhythms of Grace

For a long time I have referred to some of the struggles in my life as ‘brokenness’.   I don’t say this anymore.   I am not broken.   The bible says we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ (Psalm 139:14).    Do this mean we won’t struggle?   No.   We will struggle.   What we do to cope with this struggle can be labeled as brokenness. So I have been learning to reframe brokenness as ways of getting along that I perhaps no longer need.   Either I have new tools, or the assumptions about what I need are no longer valid.   My so-called brokenness is not brokenness at all.   It is strength.   It got me through a difficult time when I had no other tools available to me.   My previous self wasn’t broken.   She was courageous and strong. If you stop looking at yourself from a framework of brokenness, it gives you power.   You suddenly realize that, with God beside you, you can handle way more than you think.   By not starting from a place of deficiency, you fight for yourself and what

I have given up on keeping a gratitude journal about 10 times.   I would try.   Stick with coming up with 3 things I was grateful for every day for a month.   Then I would stop.   It never really made me feel better.   The only thing it accomplished was to check off another ‘should’ from my list. Honestly keeping a gratitude journal just gave me a reason to feel bad about myself.   I would think: “Why is it so hard to come up with my three things?’ “How long before I actually feel grateful for this stuff?’ “Why am I so ungrateful for the gifts that God has given me?” “What’s wrong with me?” “I am a bad person.” Okay that is a bit dramatic but I do know that actually trying to keep a gratitude journal and having it fail did make me feel bad.   So I stopped trying years ago.   The issue was that people I respect would say that gratitude is a requirement for living a fulfilled life.   I believed them.   It makes a lot of sense.   It just didn’t work for me. Fast f