Re-Thinking Resilience
On a social media platform one of the people I follow asked about whether we considered ourselves resilient and if we didn't, what got in the way. I stopped and thought for a moment. The answer is complicated because my view of resilience has changed without me noticing.
In my early life I had more than my share of trauma. People always said I was strong because I would keep on functioning at some level. In a way, that is a form of resilience, the ability to keep on going in spite of what happened. I honor that part of me. The thing is, that keeping a stiff upper lip cost me in many ways. So that even though I continued to function, I would be really struggling on the inside. I didn't take the time to process what happened, so those events would creep up on me when I least expected it.
Recently I have found that when something happens, I have the capacity to deal with it. I find space to allow myself to process. I reach out for help when I need it. I say no when I need to. Sometimes that version of my younger self just tells me to suck it up. I know that doesn't work. By taking the time to process and really acknowledge what has happened, I actually recover much more quickly than I did when I was younger. That is a healthier way to look at resilience.
In my early life I had more than my share of trauma. People always said I was strong because I would keep on functioning at some level. In a way, that is a form of resilience, the ability to keep on going in spite of what happened. I honor that part of me. The thing is, that keeping a stiff upper lip cost me in many ways. So that even though I continued to function, I would be really struggling on the inside. I didn't take the time to process what happened, so those events would creep up on me when I least expected it.
Recently I have found that when something happens, I have the capacity to deal with it. I find space to allow myself to process. I reach out for help when I need it. I say no when I need to. Sometimes that version of my younger self just tells me to suck it up. I know that doesn't work. By taking the time to process and really acknowledge what has happened, I actually recover much more quickly than I did when I was younger. That is a healthier way to look at resilience.
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