Re-Thinking Resilience

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On a social media platform one of the people I follow asked about whether we considered ourselves resilient and if we didn't, what got in the way.  I stopped and thought for a moment.  The answer is complicated because my view of resilience has changed without me noticing.

In my early life I had more than my share of trauma.  People always said I was strong because I would keep on functioning at some level.  In a way, that is a form of resilience, the ability to keep on going in spite of what happened.  I honor that part of me.  The thing is, that keeping a stiff upper lip cost me in many ways.  So that even though I continued to function, I would be really struggling on the inside.  I didn't take the time to process what happened, so those events would creep up on me when I least expected it.

Recently I have found that when something happens, I have the capacity to deal with it.  I find space to allow myself to process.  I reach out for help when I need it.  I say no when I need to.  Sometimes that version of my younger self just tells me to suck it up.  I know that doesn't work.  By taking the time to process and really acknowledge what has happened, I actually recover much more quickly than I did when I was younger.  That is a healthier way to look at resilience.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is so true Misty. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
10:24 AM
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