Sunday, January 28, 2007
“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29: 11-13 (NIV)
The unexpected has happened. I am taking a break from ministry. Soul Searching will not run this season. I have sensed for a while that it is time for a break. I have ignored that sense. It was only when some serious logistical issues came about that we decided not to move forward. I was so relieved. I am so grateful for this time to reboot.
Soul Searching is not just Wednesday night. It is hours of preparation and follow up. I have really felt the burden of being a ministry leader on top of being a facilitator and speaker. I will miss Soul Searching these next few months though. And I am wondering what life will be like for me now. Soul Searching has become a huge part of my identity.
I don’t want the next few months to just pass by. I want to be intentional about how I spend this time. It feels sort of like a sabbatical even though I still have a full time job.
One thing I want to do is to improve my spiritual life. It is hard to know how I have accomplished that. I think that I will have to continue to explore to know what that looks like. I guess the goal would be that I would be able to tell you what I have learned in the end.
I also want to spend more time writing. I want to be consistent about posting to my blog and also writing fiction. I learn so much about myself and God when I write. I have especially missed fiction because it is such a creative expression. I have a few projects that I have started. One in particular I would like to pick up.
Finally and almost most importantly, I want to have fun. I want to see the joy in life. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to… I don’t know. Do fun stuff.
As I enter this season I do so with a little bit of trembling. God is calling me into His presence. I am not sure what will happen at the end of this rest. But I am hanging onto God’s promise that His plans are to prosper me. I also notice that part of my prosperous future includes praying and seeking God. He has given me a hope and a future. Now it is my turn to pray and seek Him with all my heart.