Sunday, June 17, 2007

The Cross

On Good Friday at church we had an opportunity to write our ‘stuff’ on a piece of paper and nail it to one of the wooden crosses we had at the front. I have been involved in services where they did something like that before but I have never actually done it. Somehow actually taking a nail and hammering it into the cross (even a modern representation of one) seemed like it was a little over the top. Plus I have never been very good about engaging some symbolic act of faith.

This time I did it. I don’t know why this time was different specifically. Maybe I was just sick of my life the way it was. Or maybe the gathering was just structured in such a way where I really felt like I didn’t have a choice. Whatever the reason was I actually took it seriously. I wrote from my heart about the things I share with very few people. I walked up to the cross, took a nail, and hammered the nail until it was flush with the cross. I had about a mustard seed of faith that something would ever come of it.

I didn’t think about that again for a while. I didn’t immediately feel better or like I had been cleansed of sin. Looking back I wonder if that was the start of something for me. I can’t be sure but what I do know is that I have found myself dealing with the very same issues I nailed to the cross. I have moved forward in ways I never thought I would. I have allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of others and have found refuge.

In the last two weeks I have found joy and peace. I am starting to live in the reality of God’s love. Even when I stumble I still feel like I have some level of victory. I have experienced God’s grace and love over and over. Come to think of it, how could it not be related to Good Friday?


Tracey Craigon said...

Great post, Misty! I attended that service where they did that drama on Good Friday - it was at TMP right? I am experiencing much of what you are these days by the sounds of it! Let's get together sometime and share about our Faith more...

Misty B said...

Actually it was at Soul Sanctuary.