Sunday, July 06, 2008

Anxious


Last week was challenging for me. No there was not a crisis at work. I wasn’t even extremely busy. It was just a bunch of little things that challenged my feeling of peace. I have been feeling overwhelmed by life lately. I don’t know why.

After I had surgery I remember thinking that the little stuff would never get to me again. For weeks I had that perspective. I let the little stuff go. However it was also a struggle sometimes because most things didn’t seem to matter. It was difficult to re-engage work when you have the perspective that only life-threatening events really matter.

I have found myself back into work. I think I am taking a balanced perspective. I have found it a lot less frustrating lately. I have let go of a lot. I have a great week at the end of June. I remembered why I enjoy my job. I felt like I had contributed something meaningful.

Last weekend I posted about feeling distant from God. I tried to spend time in prayer but I couldn’t really settle down enough to feel connected. So I read the Bible. I read for quite a while but I settled on Psalm 91. I have been trying to read the first part of it out loud before I go to sleep:

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare of the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I am trusting him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from the fatal plague.
4 He will shield you with his wings.
He will shelter you with his feathers.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor fear the dangers of the day,
6 nor dread the plague that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

2 comments:

James Zink said...

I can so relate to what you expressed here. All I could think of was my every day ordinary life and all the challenges I face. My heart went to that place of reminder and encouragement that God is so very interested in it all and there is no way He would leave me in my anxious thoughts and in my deep longings.

Julie said...

I love those verses in Psalm 91.
I think it's so powerful when we speak bible verses out loud.
Recently, I've been trying to memorize scripture. I bought myself dry erase markers & write out the verses on my bedroom mirror. That way, they're in my face & I can keep referring to them. Eventually they sink in.
I'm praying for you to feel more grounded in God's strength & love.