A Relationship With the Bible - It's Complicated
In the year 2000 I did the Jesus prayer thing and started figuring out next steps. One of the first things I did was purchase the TouchPoint bible at the church I was attending at the time. It is written in the New Living Translation (NLT). The NLT is a very readable version of the bible although it is not known for being the most accurate translation. I have purchased a number of bibles in other translations since then but, that TouchPoint bible remains my favourite. At the time I loved it because it had bible promises for every issue I could think of. Look up anger at the Helpfinder and it gives you a bunch of questions to think about and several verses like:
"Stop your anger!...Do not envy others -- it only leads to harm." Psalm 37:8, NLT
I think I like it now because it is old and familiar... and it is the only bible I felt I had permission to put tabs in because I was a new Christian. Tabs make bible reading so much easier.
You may have figured out from my comment about the tabs that the bible never really sank in. I have temporarily memorized bible verses but I can't quote them now. I tried several times to get in the habit of 'being in the word daily' only to find myself feeling guilty for not doing it for a month or more. People in the evangelical church said the bible was God's love letter to us. It was supposed to deepen my relationship with Him. Things would become more clear if I just studied the bible more intensely and more often.
The truth is I felt dumb trying to study the bible. I was always missing something. The words didn't jump off the page for me and fill my heart with a divine presence. I would read and hear people say that I needed to lower my expectations. That doesn't happen every day. It NEVER happened for me. There would be moments of insight yes. I couldn't make myself love the word. The people I looked up to said it was life giving and like some kind of sustenance for them. I just never 'got' it.
The thing is I am far from dumb. I am known for being smart and able to pick up new skills. I am able to pick up themes in what is happening around me and put things together. I am most happy in a job where I can help solve problems. No where else in my life did I feel like I wasn't smart. It was only in church. In hindsight that doesn't seem right.
I have stopped trying to read the bible. In particular, the past 6 months or so, I have given myself permission to take a break. In the back of my mind I have wanted to re-engage scripture as I have heard some new voices about how we are supposed to read the bible that really intrigues me. So when I heard Peter Enns was coming out with a book called "How the Bible Actually Works" I preordered it. When I was given the opportunity to read and extended excerpt, I was more than willing to jump in.
The first chapter has hooked me. Statements like this have pulled me in.
You see, wisdom is my jam. I love figuring things out. I love going deeper. And if Pete Enns is right, about the appropriate use of the bible, I'm in. I'm not sure how to dig deeper. I am waiting to be able to read the rest of the book to find out.
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