Unforced Rhythms of Grace

I have had some time to reflect on 2010.  As I said in my Christmas letter it was a good year overall.  I want 2011 to be a good year too.  I remember that 2010 started well (or maybe 2009 ended well.)  I have to admit that I have had some challenges the past couple of months.  The last two weeks at work were tumultuous.  I don’t want to live in crisis.  I don’t want to just survive.  So given where I am at now, what can I do to enter this year with a sense of optimism? First, I remember all that I did in 2010.  I know that I can do more than I am .  I was inspired by a blog I follow to write some resolutions.  I was inspired because I saw what she had accomplished.  I remembered that I accomplished things too.  And I think that it will be wonderful to reflect on what I have done.  Oh I was also comforted by the fact that some of the 2010 goals ended up on her 2011 list again.  So here we go: 1.  Run a 5...

Better late than never.  This year's Christmas letter is posted: http://mistychristmasletter.blogspot.com/

I was driving to a friend’s house today and I noticed a full moon lighting the sky.  A recent series of snowfalls has blanketed the ground with white.  There is beauty in this season.  The bare trees now take on a new dimension with the snow sticking to the trunks and perching on branches.  It is not summer for certain.  But somehow this newness of fresh white snow covering the earth seems to bring hope.  The moon lighting the sky on top of a white horizon is a majestic sight. I think I am feeling better.  I have a plan to get back on track.  Tomorrow I start working out again.  My fridge is stocked with healthy food and a meal plan has been prepared.  And this period of darkness has been different.  I have found myself reaching out sooner and hiding less.  I have felt held by my community.  I am grateful for that. I can’t say that I am feeling on top of the world.  I guess the best way to describe it is to liken it...

I wouldn’t be surprised if I have written a blog post titled November before.  When I was a kid, November was a month that was full of promise.  Now that has somehow been taken from me.  November reminds me of all I have lost.  The beginning of November has brought fear for me.  I am afraid of November.  I am afraid that by the end of November I will have nothing left for December. At the beginning of this year I had a sense that this was ‘my’ year.  I even had other people tell me that.  Now I feel like the year is over in some ways.  It is just time to survive.  I am angry.  Somehow in my heart I think I believed that if this was my year that this wouldn’t happen again. Everything is harder right now.  I know I promised to pick myself up but the reality is that I just don’t feel like it.  Connection seems harder to come by lately.  Mostly it is because the words just won’t come.  When people ask me what is wr...

  In the past few days I have found myself reaching out a little more.  I have been honest about where I am at.  I am not sure what I expected but I am grateful that I didn’t get it.  What I got from my friends was an overwhelming sense of grace. I remember when I first started exercising and caring about my health I was hesitant to share with anyone.  I knew there would times like t his when I struggled to stay on track.  I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.  Yet as I started to post on Facebook what I was doing I had a bunch of cheerleaders instantly.  I loved the support I got.  So I guess when I was honest about what was happening I expected the same type of support.  I expected people to cheer me on. That wasn’t what I needed.  I need people to stand with me and that is what they have done.  They have modeled God’s love to me.  I am overwhelmingly grateful for it.  I decided that what I really need is to get ba...

At the beginning of the year I resolved that when I fell I would get up again.  So far so good.  Yet as I reflect on where I am at right now, I wonder what to do when you recognize that you are about to fall.  Or maybe you have fallen and you just don’t recognize your fallen state… I haven’t been exercising lately.  I have noticed that when I don’t exercise I tend to eat poorly.  I find myself being more and more tired lately.  I was waiting for this weekend to come so I could sit and veg a little or a lot to be honest. So maybe I have fallen already.  I know that I need to get up or this hole will get even deeper.  I could use your prayer.

It is ten years ago today that my brother passed away.  He left behind three children.  Their lives are shaped by losing their father so early.  My life has been shaped as well.  I remember it is if it was yesterday. I received a call at work informing me that my brother was about to pass away.  I rushed to the hospital and arrived in time to see him take his last breath.  I remember being really angry.  I felt like ‘life’ had taken something else away from me.  I said to myself that I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I don’t know exactly what ‘it’ was. It was at that time in my life that I became a Christian.  I knew that I could no longer live life under my own power.  I am grateful that God has taught me that even though I have suffered a lot of loss, death will not define me.  Rest in peace Rick.